hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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