dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
a search helicopter?!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
