I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
