if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
