i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i out mim tonsoeep
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize