But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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