he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
