Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
