I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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