I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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