My nipple is on Facebook.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
