I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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