Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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