Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
