she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
