Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
