She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
