shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
