why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
