So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize