The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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