my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
