Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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