Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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