But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just pynch a tree in the face
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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