oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize