i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
