She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
