i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
