4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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