Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
