They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
