Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The Olympian is in my bed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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