wat bout pragnant strippers??
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
