Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
