If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Found the puke drawer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
