I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
