Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
