So drunk its hurt
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
