I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
