worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
