Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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