What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
