You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
