she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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