yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
