either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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