I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize