What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
