i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
