please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
