At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
