Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
