I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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