I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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