What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
