Are we in a gay sports bar?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
