I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
