After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
