We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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