matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I need to calm my uterus...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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