3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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